Stats on Pats Weekly Article by Joshua Bonneau, southcoast247.com correspondent
It’s Curtains: Patriot’s season ends in a heartbreaker
I’m convinced. Some malevolent force acted against the New England Patriots on Sunday. That’s the only way to explain it- a fuckin’ sick cosmic joke.
I can even hear it being played out; in a Mr. Burns-like voiceover. Conducted like godamn Fantasia.
“AFC Championship. I’ll give New England an 18 point lead before half time, and watch them dance in Boston. Yes, a fortuitous fumble recovery by Mankins, now Corey Dillon. And for good measure, Asante Samuel….interception….touchdown!! Now cue Manning’s face…the look of defeat, bitterness, desperation. That should really get them dancing. Hah, they’re scouring the internet for low fares to Miami!!
And for my next trick, I’ll take it all away. Peyton Manning will finally cast off his bad legacy, and against all adversity lead his team in a miraculous second-half comeback, and triumph more than anyone has ever triumphed under pressure. The Patriots will stay in it for a while, but just long enough to keep hope alive in Boston. I’ll give them a three point lead, yes, three points, not seven. Reche Caldwell will drop passes. They’ll be called for 12 men in the huddle, and there season will come down to a 3rd and 4 situation, which they will not convert. Manning will injure his thumb on his right throwing hand, and mouth the words “Get Ready” to the back-up, but he’ll forge ahead. The Colts will engineer a scoring drive in the final minutes, and cap off the most unbelievable come –from-behind victory in AFC Championship history. Boston’s tears will salt the earth. It is written.”
That’s most likely what happened.
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"Buck up, Tom. Your offseason is Giselle Bundchen."
The New England Patriot’s were literally three minutes away from Super Bowl XLI, and all the excitement and buildup that went along with it. Had any one of about five fourth- quarter plays ended up a short-hair different, I’d be sitting here talking about Miami. Had Heath Evan stumbled for four more yards, I’d be here grouping the Pats with the 1970s Steelers. Had Reche Caldwell…yeah…I’d be behind my keyboard singing the words “four-in-six years,” and mean it.
Alas, nothing is more killing than what could have been.
Instead, the Indianapolis Colts exacted their revenge. And instead, it’s the Bruins and the Celtics for everyone. I guess now we can all concentrate more on our jobs, significant others, and have a little extra time for productive, non-alcoholic Sundays. Balls.
What I should be doing logically, instead of singing a requiem for the biggest fucking squander in Boston sports since the 03’ game seven in the Bronx, is thanking the Patriot’s for a thrilling season of football. After all, since the week 14 annihilation in Miami (prior to the Colts loss), the Patriots went 5-0 including a miraculous 24-21 win over the top ranked Chargers- a win that I still haven’t been able to figure out. And of course, one way of looking at it is to say that the Patriot’s, in the age of the salary cap and free agency, came within three minutes of going to their fourth super bowl in six years.
But logic is overrated, and in New England bitterness is a nicer friend. So allow me to be a fair-weather fan for a minute, and echo the thoughts that I’ve heard from so many people in the past few days.
“Dude, this fah-kin sucks.”
Seriously, where the tits was the defense in the second half? Obviously there was some serious fatigue out there for a number of reasons. Between the flu ( the globe is now reporting that about half the team was suffering from it), the heat in the building, the colts second half time of possession, the knock down-drag out game in San Diego, and all of the traveling in the previous week; the Patriots just had no endurance. That explains why the likes of Eric Alexander and Rashad Baker, two guys who had never started in a previous NFL game and were most likely found working at UPS the week before, made their appearance in the Patriot’s defensive backfield with the AFC championship on the line.
But despite the lack of personnel, there’s no question that the Patriots should have won that game. It’s one thing to lose a hard fought contest, and it’s quite another to let an opponent off the hook. It’s the classic action movie tragedy, where the hero lets the villain live, only to be shot in the back when he’s walking away. Let this be a lesson to all of you.
So there’s some hard truths to face. The Colts are moving on, the Pats are heading home, and yours truly is signing off, or at least until next preseason when the Patriot’s head up the charge for four-in-seven, which still doesn’t have a bad ring to it. In fact, maybe we’ll even meet again sometime between now and the pre, to see what Scott Pioli and the rest of the back-office big-brains have done, or haven’t done with Bob Craft’s money.
Until then, I feel your pain South Coast. My advice, a hefty dose of pills and whiskey to ward off the cold, and try to avoid thinking of what Tom Brady’s off-season will be like- umbrella drinks in Rio with a beach-nude Giselle Bundchen. Huh.
“AFC Championship. I’ll give New England an 18 point lead before half time, and watch them dance in Boston. Yes, a fortuitous fumble recovery by Mankins, now Corey Dillon. And for good measure, Asante Samuel….interception….touchdown!! Now cue Manning’s face…the look of defeat, bitterness, desperation. That should really get them dancing. Hah, they’re scouring the internet for low fares to Miami!!
