By Craig P. Dixon, southcoast247.com correspondent Social Commentary 88
December 5th, 2006
If you’ve gathered anything over the past 2 years of Craig Cares, it’s that
the driving force behind these articles is anger.
This week is no different. Popular culture continues to pussify the American
male, and I’ve had enough. If the pussification of the American male
continues at this rate, we might as well drop the term “ladies and
gentlemen” and replace it with “ladies and pussified facsimiles of
gentlemen”.
I’m tired of the sensitive male populating the small screen. There’s the
McDreamy character of “Grey’s Anatomy” fame. He could be the biggest pansy
I’ve ever seen. Or Alan Shore and Denny Crane of “Boston Legal”, discussing
their man issues in quiet moments on Crane’s balcony over cigars and scotch.
Every man wants to talk about his problems nowadays.
Whatever happened to the strong, silent type? These deluded fools air out
the proverbial dirty laundry without even the slightest prying of
interrogation or plying of alcohol. It’s as if someone tore the old Y
chromosome out of these guys and tossed in a little x. Bit off a touch of
the frank and beans and added something more feminine, if you will.
There’s an openness about it all that’s quite disturbing. I fear our
children will forget what a man is supposed to be and come to emulate these
emotionally androgynous pussies of men.
The true man archetype
Last week, when I came up with the idea for this article, I discussed it
with southcoast247.com columnist Brooke Boucher. She understood where I was
coming from, understood my fear and whatnot, but couldn’t figure out the
premise of my article. After all, aren’t women becoming more like men?
Aren’t the defining lines of the sexes becoming blurred? Just what is a man,
anyway?
I’ll tell you what a man is! A man is tough as goddamn rawhide. He’ll face
death for the most inconsequential of reasons. Against the worst odds, a man
will fight for something as ungraspable as principle. He does not show
emotion. He does not quit. And he DAMNED WELL doesn’t go weeping about his
problems to another man. He gets up and takes care of his issues on his own
and moves on.
Just how blurred is the idea of man becoming? Well, James Bond was the very
picture of the man’s man. He had all the latest gadgets and toys. Best
damned wardrobe on the planet. He’d take down a worldwide terrorist plot,
get all sorts of strange and exotic ass, and be back in London for tea with
the Queen.
Then, the very promising “Casino Royale” comes out. Rough and tumble actor
Daniel Craig comes out of the Bond gates, rampaging like a lion, killing his
enemies brutally, romancing the ladies for the info, dropping them once he’d
gotten it, and taking down terrorism, all for Queen and Country. Then he’s
speeding around in a beautiful Aston Martin, winning a hundred million
dollar Hold ‘Em tourney only minutes after narrowly escaping a poisoning
attempt, and taking some serious torture via a 10 lb. weight swung
unmercifully at his nutsack. And through it all he never talks.
Then he falls in love, blubbering all over the beautiful Eva Green with some
of the nacho cheesiest lines ever to grace the big screen. I thought I’d
puke during these tender moments, but barely held off. James Bond, the man
every man wants to be, had gone pussy.
What’s next? Steve McQueen resurrected as The Dancing Queen? Clint
Eastwood’s “Man with No Name” brought back for a sensitive role: “The Good,
The Misunderstood, and The You’ll Like Him Once You Know Him”? Charles
Bronson as a good-natured guy trying to turn criminals from a life of crime
through education and prayer? A tutu-clad Stone Cold Steve Austin?
America needs more old school, no bullshit guys in the popular sphere. Guys
who don’t talk about their feelings. Men who take an ass-whoopin’ for no
good reason and keep coming back for more.
After sex, he doesn’t cuddle or whisper his inner-most thoughts. He rolls
over and falls asleep. Or, maybe he demands a ham sandwich as payment for
services rendered. Then he gets up, gives the girl a good slap on the ass,
says, “Good game”, and goes home. Society needs these men, for they’re a
part of what men are.
Are they cave men? Sure. But, with society constantly unmanning men and
sexual lines blurring to the point of complete androgyny, what’s the
alternative?
If you’ve gathered anything over the past 2 years of Craig Cares, it’s that
the driving force behind these articles is anger.
