By Craig P. Dixon, southcoast247.com correspondent . Social Commentary 149
February 13th, 2008
As you may or may not know, this article runs on 2 things. 1. Wild Turkey bourbon and 2. Tremendous rage. And I'm all out of booze.
So, this one's running strictly on overwhelming FURY! I'm tearing phone books! Eating light bulbs! I'm smashing my head through walls!
Yeah. I'm pissed. But if I weren't, who would write Craig Cares? Mark Twain's reanimated corpse? Let's get on with the goddamned column.
Unless you've been living in Iran, you've learned by now that our New England Patriots managed to lose both the Superbowl and a perfect season to the New York (or is it New Jersey?) Giants. I'm not going to get into the game. Both teams sucked. The Giants just managed to suck slightly less.
Good for them. And good for New York. Just what they need… an ego boost. As if New Yorkers have ever been modest, friendly or polite. Now they've got a year's worth of bragging rights. Great. Yet another reason for New Yorkers to be douchebags.
Enjoy it while it lasts, New York. The baseball season starts soon. And soon we'll be watching the overhauled Yankees get mauled by our Red Sox. Massachusetts will retake the douchebag crown. I swear it. The pissing match continueth ad nauseum….
Whatever. That's neither here nor there.
Handsome Dan himself
We're talking about Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter today. In the lead up to the Superbowl, the good Senator declared his intention to question NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Capitol Hill.
Why, you ask? Steroids? Na. HGH? Nope. Illegal dog fighting? Absolutely not. What heinous crime roused the Republican Specter from silence? The NFL's destruction of the New England Patriots so-called "Spygate" tapes, that's what.
Really? Are you shittin' me, Arlen (if that is your real name)? You better be. Because I think much bigger issues are facing this nation.
Come on, Arlen. You're telling me that the NFL's destruction of tapes is more important than, say, the CIA's destruction of interrogation tapes? Why don't you have CIA director General Michael Hayden on the Hill to answer for that? Or are we ok with torture nowadays? Wait…. Don't answer that question.
Fact of the matter is: The NFL is not part of the United States government. They may have an antitrust exemption, but that's not the point. "Spygate" was handled internally. Unlike rampant steroid and HGH use, or illegal dog fighting rings, "Spygate" broke no federal or state laws. Therefore, the handling of "Spygate" is not of the Fed's concern. And with our government so keen on spying on its own citizens, "Spygate" seems business as usual. If anything, you should be trying to encourage spying in professional sports.
So Arlen… Move along to something more pressing. I can think of a ton of other issues for you to work on. But, with you being a Republican in a Democratic Congress and all, you'll likely spend the rest of the year stonewalling any meaningful legislation that happens to reach the floor.
Dick.
As you may or may not know, this article runs on 2 things. 1. Wild Turkey bourbon and 2. Tremendous rage. And I'm all out of booze.
