By Craig P. Dixon, southcoast247.com correspondent . Social Commentary 148
February 4th, 2008
February 5 is Super Tuesday. With more than a thousand delegates at stake, it’s the biggest day in the Presidential Primaries. 22 states, including Massachusetts, hold their primaries on the big day.
Now, if you’ve already chosen whom you’re going to vote for, and that candidate is Republican, good for you. Give yourself a pat on the ass and stop reading this article. Seriously. Get the hell out of my virtual presence. I’ll wait for you to leave.
Ok. All the Republicans out of the room? Wait - I see you back there! With your bad teeth and bow tie...Leave. Go on, now. Your fellow Republicans are hanging out at the Route 195 rest stop. You know the one. They’ve promised glory holes for all.
Wow. That dude tore off in a hurry.
Now that it’s just us Democrats, and a few hated Independents, let me start by saying what a pleasure it has been to watch the Republican debates. It’s like a goddamned car wreck. None of those fools are electable. Period.
Where to start. You’ve got John McCain: Once the "straight-talking" candidate. Now only a gruesome caricature of his former self, McCain’s flip-flopped more than any candidate in either party. Once seemingly independent, he’s refashioned his image as a war-drumming Christian Conservative.
Imagine: The man so humiliated in the 2000 primaries would back George W’s Iraq policies. McCain’s rallying cry has been, "I’m against timetables." He once said, "We’ll be (in Iraq) for a hundred years."
Stupid, John. Just stupid. The only hope Republicans have is if John dies whilst running for the presidency and his VP nominee takes over. Seriously, the dude’s 71. And he isn’t healthy. He looks like the Crypt Keeper’s ugly brother, for shit’s sake.
Yet, you retarded Independents still vote for him. I have no idea why. A McCain presidency will be like a continuation of the Bush years. Just what this country needs: A half-dead guy hammering the last nails into the country’s (and his own) coffin.
Then there’s Mike Huckabee...Quite possibly the looniest freak in the Republican bunch. He believes the world is about 6000 years old and that dinosaurs coexisted with humans. Takes the bible LITERALLY. He promises to revise the Constitution and interweave the currently separate entities of church and state. Perhaps the strangest part of his candidacy is Chuck Norris’ presence at his rallies. Even Walker, Texas Ranger has done nothing for this creationist loon’s chances.
Mitt Romney...What’s there to say about Mitt? By the looks of things, not a whole lot. Republican voters are leaving him in droves, and I don’t understand why. If there’s anyone who knows business and could possibly do something to help the economy (without...[gulp]...raising taxes) it’s Mitt. Though economy is big on the minds of Republican voters, Mitt isn’t.
Last but not least, Ron Paul. Here’s the lone Republican who wants out of Iraq and has some concrete ideas about repairing the economy and restoring US superpower status.
Where is he? Bottom of the heap. He doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning the nomination, because if there’s anything Conservatives hate, it’s a peace-loving hippy with new-fangled ideas.
Face it. The Republicans are dealing with second-rate candidates. No matter who wins their nomination, the GOP will throw an unqualified, boring individual in the bullring with a pair of overqualified, exciting Democratic matadors.
So, get out there and vote Obama. Or Hillary. Either way, you’re picking a winner.
February 5 is Super Tuesday. With more than a thousand delegates at stake, it’s the biggest day in the Presidential Primaries. 22 states, including Massachusetts, hold their primaries on the big day.
