By Craig P. Dixon, southcoast247.com correspondent Social Commentary 124
August 22, 2007
Finally. In an embarrassingly emotional ceremony, White House douchebag and "boy genius" Karl Rove, famously known as "the architect" of Bush's two presidential campaign victories and referred to derisively as "Bush's Brain" by liberal critics everywhere, has decided to resign from his advisory duties.
To the American public, Rove has been a shadowy figure. Nobody quite knows what the guy was up to, exactly. Just an advisor, right? But, it seems the man had a claw in everything. He's gone so far as to call himself Moby Dick in comparison to the many Democratic Ahabs in Congress continuing to investigate him.
This Rove is a cocky motherfucker. The White fucking Whale? The behemoth that, no matter what was thrown at him, managed to not only survive, but took the lives of all but one that had the gall to pursue him. To some: The embodiment of evil. To others: The shining white gem of all that is good. He talks a big game, and, so far, has played a good one, too.
Get a room!
So what was Rove? There's little historically with which to compare him. No President has had such a notorious untitled advisor in my own personal history. But here's what we do know. Rove was the mastermind of Bush's many political campaigns, including his run for Governor of Texas, as well as a provider of input to Domestic and International Policy during the Presidency. He's been Bush's most trusted right hand man for more than a decade.
Like Goebbels to Hitler, Rove injected quite a bit of his own propaganda into the new, less-free Amerikarl that we all know and loathe. We may never know exactly how deep his slimy tendrils went into the Executive Office, but the fact remains that the man owned Bush's ear. He had powers that we may never fully understand.
In the end, it really doesn't matter what we know about Rove. The dangerous motherfucker may be out of The White House, but his grotesque influence shall remain like a scourge on the American people. After all: His former assistant is fucking the President's daughter.
What? This just in. Former assistant to Karl Rove, Henry Hager, is now engaged to Jenna Bush. Congratulations to the happy couple. Send me along an invite and I'll be sure to bring the Plan B. Don't need any of that demonspawn creeping all over the country.
If you know of some other Rove type figure in Executive office history (not a Secretary of State or Defense, but an advisor) send me an email at craig@southcoast247.com and inform me..
Finally. In an embarrassingly emotional ceremony, White House douchebag and "boy genius" Karl Rove, famously known as "the architect" of Bush's two presidential campaign victories and referred to derisively as "Bush's Brain" by liberal critics everywhere, has decided to resign from his advisory duties.
