Staff Bios Compiled by Jamie Despres, southcoast247.com Editor
The staff of 247 is looking forward to a strong year of South Coast shenanigans. Feel free to contact us with story and event ideas!
Jamie Despres southcoast247.com Editor
Finally getting over Johnny Damon's move to the evil empire, Jamie spends her days listening to good music,
hanging out with friends, collecting Rem-Dawg memorabelia, and getting her hands dirty in all matters South Coast.
With a degree in Graphic Design under her belt, Jamie finally took the plunge and entered Grad school this past Fall.
In her non-existent free time, she enjoys watching Project Runway, season 2 of The Sopranos, and terrorizing her cat Sushi.
She also enjoys singing bad karaoke with good friends.
Matt Conley southcoast247.com's Assistant Editor
There may be nothing more pretentious than a self written biography, one that seeks to inform another all that you want them to know about yourself in just one to two indented paragraphs. Instead of giving the fans a "born and raised in…" rant I have opted to post a few of my beliefs, channeling the fictitious Crash Davis in the process. My biography is meant to be read in monologue form, making it the most pretentious biography of its time, especially since it is in screenplay form.
INT. Living Room - Evening
Conley walks to the front door, zipping his hooded sweatshirt, preparing to bear the cold awaiting him outside. He stops and turns to his attractive female co-star to say one last thing before he leaves.
Conley: I believe in the soul, black and white photography, fog in the summertime, high protein, low sodium, and in 247.com. I believe we all lost a little when A Beautiful Mind was named Best Picture of the Year at the 2002 Academy Awards. I believe there should be a ban on Uwe Boll video game-to-screen adaptations. I believe that Billy Crudup might just be the best actor alive, with Ed Harris somewhere in the top five. I believe this much… Goodnight.
There is a brief pause, allowing the information to sink into the audience. And then the attractive co-star sighs.
Attractive Co-Star: Oh my…
Jim Reilly southcoast247.com correspondent/webslave
Jim is graphic designer by day, writer by night, but he's cool-as-fuck 24/7, baby. In addition to his writing and web maintenance duties at southcoast247.com, Jim is also the editor of horrorview.com, the associate editor of City Slab magazine, and a published author whose horror tales can be found in magazines like Horror Garage, Book of Dark Wisdom, and Ethereal Gazette, as well as in the anthology books Undead: A Zombie Anthology, and Read by Dawn Vol.1.
He is also a musician who used to play loud guitar-driven rock, but now finds himself consumed by home recording, synthesizers, and the soothing sounds of Death Cab for Cutie.
Jim is the oldest person involved in southcoast247.com, something that precludes him from going to meetings as he is much too frail to venture outside of his home.
Craig P. Dixon southcoast247.com columnist
"a biography of genius"
Written by Dr. Lawrence Centers, PhD in misinformation studies and current Biographer of Craig P. Dixon
I’ve spent the last three years studying the life and times of Craig P. Dixon and even now, with such extensive experience, cannot make sense of the man.
He’s a walking contradiction.
Often seen at the most casual of occasions wearing a suit, or at the very least, shirt and tie, Mr. Dixon seems most comfortable in boxer shorts, and has troubled many an individual by his propensity to wear this article, and this article alone, in public. As he once told me, "I’ve spent 70 percent of my adult life in boxers. No matter my final profession, I’ll spend the majority of my time wearing little else. I could care less what people think."
He’s a "war only when necessary" individual, but loves watching boxing and ultimate fighting on TV. A fervent Democrat, he believes in many Conservative principles, including the necessity of the death penalty and eventual abolishment of the welfare state, though he believes it 100 percent necessary to provide the utmost of evidence when punishing someone with death (i.e. DNA) and that universal health care, a generous living wage, and jobs for all must be instated before the death of welfare.
He hates whiners and complainers, yet is paid to write social complaint for southcoast247.com. He’s an intelligent writer, reads copiously, frequents art galleries and actively fights against mainstream thought. Yet, he plays pickup football, goes to the gym, and curses as colorfully as a longshoreman.
He drinks everything on the bar, often to excess, but cannot stand drunks or addicts of any sort.
He’s the constant devil’s advocate. Often siding with what could be called "good" ideas, Mr. Dixon doesn’t shy from "evil" thought and action: If it seems the appropriate modus operandi.
His thoughts are sometimes controversial. His recent abortion article garnered instant hatred among the Pro-Life camp, his family, and extremist Christians, perhaps the most violent, deluded individuals in America. Though faced with such potential danger, one is hard pressed to find anyone Mr. Dixon won’t attack: No matter how awful the supposed repercussions.
Currently, I sit with Mr. Dixon in a dark room on Martha’s Vineyard. He’s lounging in his boxers before his laptop, editing the latest "Craig Cares" article, a glass of Patron on ice in his right hand. Brooding and silent, toned and coiled in the shadows, lit only by the computer screen, he resembles Marlon Brando’s character from "Apocalypse: Now".
Always unpredictable, controversial, and delightfully entertaining, Mr. Dixon is committed to bringing the ruminations of his cavernous mind out of the depths and
into the public light. Peruse the weighty "Craig Cares" collection for more insight into the man’s mind, while our boxer-clad warrior decides whom or what to
attack next.
Amelia Iris southcoast247.com fashion correspondent/mySpace moderator
Amelia was born and raised in the mean streets of Oakland, California. After her first record deal
at the age of 5 she moved to Dartmouth, Massachusetts to fulfill her lifelong dream of living in the
‘burbs. After completing high school, she was asked to model in New York with fellow supermodel Tyra Banks.
Amelia has worked with fashion designers like Vera Wang and Betsy Johnson. After starting her own line of
clothes after working closely with Jennifer Lopez as an intern, Amelia soon became interested in telling
the world about great new clothes via southcoast247.com.
Of all the exotic places in the world, the South coast of Massachusetts has grabbed her heart the most.
She said in a recent interview, "New Bedford is just the most amazing place ever. I couldn’t imagine
living anywhere else. I just love everything about it here".
She plans on continuing her career in fashion and music and will be coming out with her debut album
next fall featuring Tupac. Get it in stores November 26th!
Brooke Boucher southcoast247.com columnist
Brooke's official title is southcoast247.com's sex columnist. However most people
know her as the resident sassy broad. While being a fiery vixen is a full time job,
she still manages to pump out a weekly column that is designed to educate, titillate,
and resonate with the twenty-somethings of this area. When she is not busy thinking
up new ideas for the website, she is usually sewing her wild feminist oats and trying
to raise consciousness about the current administrations attempts to infringe upon
women's constitutional rights.
However all work and no play makes Brooke a dull girl. So when she has time, she likes
to hit up Paul's Sports Corner with good friends and have a few drinks. Other than that
she's just a total cheerleader for the South Coast. She loves keeping up with local music,
art, and subculture. Brooke is convinced great things are going to happen in the city, and
she plans to stick around and be a part of it.
Kate Ouellette southcoast247.com DJ and designer
Even though Kate is known to blast R. Kelly in her Jetta as she rolls through the streets of NB, we still decided to put her on the staff.
Kate is fresh from the Boston area and super excited to return to the South Coast. She left a few years ago after getting her degree in design, but finally realized that the best things in her life were all in the South Coast. So she's back bitches and ready to drink special water at Paul's.
If she's not there, you can find her sitting in front of any TV with Law and Order SVU on, in her car on some insane road trip, or dusting off her full collection of homie dogs.
Nicholas Angelini southcoast247.com contributing designer
The drummer of NB's punk favorites, A Wilhelm Scream, Nicholas exercises his design muscles when home from tour
to contribute to 247's aesthetic.
Nicholas loves Italian food, black hooded sweatshirts, dark coffee, and the day-old section of the supermarket.
Alison Despres southcoast247.com correspondent
Alison Despres, southcoast247.com's little sister, pops out of the
woodwork every so often with reviews and stories about her favorite
subject--music. When she's not working for 'the man' at
southcoast247.com, and by 'man' she means 'woman', and by 'woman' she
means 'her sister,' Alison resides in the mountainous terrain of
Amherst, Massachusetts where she treks to class each day in order to
expand her vocabulary and hopefully one day learn how to use the word
"juxtaposition" properly in a sentence.
Alison enjoys concerts, haircuts, cute boys, dinosaurs, Harry Potter,
using Apple computers, spending money, driving Volkswagens, and making
horrible jokes at the most inopportune times. Regardless of what the
editor says, she's the prettiest in the family, and although she once
stopped talking for 8 months in her earlier years, she's making up for
it now by talking twice as fast and three times as loud.
Paul Sanguinetti southcoast247.com music correspondent
Paul's 24, lives with his parents, and is only partially employed.
His life is beginning to sound like a George Costanza line.
Paul lived out west for a few years but when he failed to call his mom
on a Sunday she hired bounty hunters to bring him back.
He likes good music, good food, and good times.
Paul also like to travel whenever given the opportunity.
Other hobbies include being up for the down stroke,
getting down just for the funk of it, and the aquaboogie.
Birthplace: New Bedford, Massachusetts
Age: 22
Interests: A self proclaimed world traveler, hunter, seeker, fisherman, lover of fine
liquor and Spanish women, guitar luthier, soccer player, pantheist, black belt,
venture capitalist, prophet, and last but not least — freelance writer. His
life has been lead with the sole preoccupation to try anything once.
Raleigh Dugal southcoast247.com correspondent
Raleigh Dugal was six feet tall when he was twelve years old. He began shaving when he was eleven, and eclipsed the height of his parents when he was nine.
Other than these facts, there is nothing particularly extraordinary about his life. He puts words on paper from time to time, usually believing they are brilliant for the following ten minutes, until, upon his horror, he actually rereads them. He has traveled up and down the East Coast twice and lived for a time in New Orleans, LA, long before it got the shit kicked out of it by hurricane Katrina. A compendium of his adventures can be gleaned through his exhilarating fiction that no one has ever read.
Raleigh believes that all theoretical concepts (time travel, transmogrification, love potions, etc.) are scientifically possible, that it is a mere matter of time until each design is perfected and mined for evil use, and that the exhaustion of all knowledge will eventually render the meaning of humanity obsolete.
Until then he drinks very cheap whiskey out of bottles he later throws at street signs.
Zach Rocha southcoast247.com correspondent and sports columnist
When he's not scouring the internet for an authentic Orlando Cabrera Red Sox road jersey, Zach is slipping pebbles inside
Wiffle balls and pushing in the tops, laughing hysterically as his friends yell death threats at him from the batter's box.
An athlete since a miniature rubber basketball was put in his crib at the hospital and a sportswriter since the Dallas Cowboys
won Super Bowl XXVII, Zach considers the end of "Slamball" as significant an event as when the Berlin Wall fell.
He thinks that the Stone Cold Stunner is the greatest finishing move in wrestling history and that professional bowling
would increase its ratings if it allowed bowlers to celebrate every strike by taking a pair of beers, smacking the cans together and
then chugging them.
Hopeful that one day a video game featuring his favorite sport, kickball, will be made, Zach has been preparing a petition to give to
EA Sports. So far, only his first grade teacher, Mr. Pimental, has signed.
In the spring, Zach runs a Flag Football League at his current (lucky No.3) institution of higher learning, Lesley University, and
is confident that both Guinness and Trojan will be corporate sponsors in the near future.
Anne O’Brien-Kakley southcoast247.com correspondent
In Anne’s estimation, the high point of humanity was in 1985 when the movie "The Goonies" was released. Anne saw this movie several times in the theatre and had a big crush on "Mikey", played by Sean Astin, who later became a hobbit on film and in real life.
Life took a bit of a dip from that point on until 22 years later when Anne delivered her first daughter, Hazel Bee. Now she spends her days smelling an infant’s feet and shrieking "stinky piggies!" just to get baby giggles. She also dresses her daughter in skull and crossbones t-shirts and forces her to listen to Led Zeppelin, because she secretly wishes that was how she was raised.
Anne’s likes include Kurt Vonnegut (RIP), seltzer water, iced coffee, fluids in general, Belle and Sebastian, basically anything from Scotland and Ireland (even dirt), and beets. Her dislikes include people who use the phrase "LOL", cyborgs mascarading as regular people (Mitt Romney), and anyone who dislikes her likes.
When Anne is not writing for southcoast247, she is making floorcloths, writing manuscripts that will eventually be rejected, and contemplating why Godfather 3 was ever made.
Chris Hassan southcoast247.com correspondent
Okay Chris, this is it! Your southcoast247 staff bio! You're finally in
the big leagues, don't blow it! Alright alright, just relax. I've gotta be
funny right? All the other bios are witty and inventive. And you're
neither of those things, so forget it! Why do you have to pick on me, you
know I...Quiet you fool! Nobody wants to read the freelance writing of a
freelance weakling! I'm sorry! So how do I show I'm a tough guy? I don't
know, say you wrestle sharks on Tuesdays. What? Why just Tuesdays?
Because you're wrestling Bears every other day of the week you cretin! But
I'm afraid of bears! Agh! You moron, now they know your weakness! I'm
sorry! It's fine, just as long as you don't tell them you talk to yourself.
Wait a minute, have you been typing this whole time? Whatever you do,
don't send this to the editor! Too late, the e-mail's sending! What have
you done? What have you -
Annnd SCENE!
When Chris ISN'T writing witty and inventive staff bios, he's writing and
directing his own films. Check them out at youtube.com/user/chrishassan.
Nikki Kettle southcoast247.com correspondent
Nikki is a molder of minds, film fanatic, and hopes to one day meet Walt Whitman on a cloud where he will recite for her "Song of Myself". In her spare time she dreams up ways to meet Zach Braff, reads every trashy fashion magazine on the newsstands, and feeds her daily addiction to coffee. She hopes to one day ‘officially’ attend grad school- let’s keep our fingers crossed - and ultimately, what she wants most out of life is to be just like her personal hero - her grandmother.
Jake Moses southcoast247.com videographer
For such a biblical name, Jake lives his life on the sinful shell of the entertainment industry. Nothing is certain, nobody is trustworthy, and everything is possible. The latter of the three was the bait he sunk his teeth into - a life in music, art, film, and any sort of quality creativeness that could feed a mind jaded with everyday life. Each day gets stranger for him and he finds himself drinking a bit too much only to come home to read Dante, or to listen to Mozart’s Requiem.
He's not sure if it’s peace he's seeking, or if it’s the idea of putting loads of information into his head so that one day he can laugh in a silent, empty room. He also falls in love every time he leaves the house. It tends to be an issue. What can he say; he likes a good pair of eyes. No me gusta, como se dice…people that ignore the science of the arts, and just go after the image of it? (Not a fan) He does however want to bang Ashley Simpson, he knows, hypocritical but come on. Indeed it’s been fun; he's on his way now. Adios!
Jay Perry southcoast247.com correspondent
Jay Perry has never been good at talking about himself, so he phoned his
good friend James Lipton, host of "Inside The Actor's Studio" to discuss
what makes Jay the epitome of excellence. Honored at being given such a
task, Mr. Lipton was initially flustered. However, once Mr. Lipton gained
his composure, he stated the following:
"Articulate, humorous writing and Jay Perry are indeed intimate
bedfellows. His uncanny knowledge of the arts stands on a plateau that
mere mortals gawk at, reveling at such a wondrous creation. No man, nor
machine, nor extra-terrestrial life form could craft what the English
language can only best describe as Jay Perry. Indeed his cunning wit could
only be injected by the Almighty himself, who once he removed the golden
needle from Jay Perry's mind said 'Go my pinnacle of greatness, for you
are indeed my most glorious creation.'"
Jay would have taken a simple "he's a graduate student who enjoys writing
about music, movies and video games", but he willingly settled for Mr.
Lipton's kind words.
Liz Tomasetti southcoast247.com arts correspondent
Liz is a painter and laugher who has been lured to New Bedford by her love. She has a special passion for carbon paper, trash picking, wearing knee socks in winter, beer in a can, remote rural locations in Italy that she calls home, politicians with an understanding of the word karma, scotch tape, participating in overwhelming domestic renovation projects and spinach.
Her most recent inspirations of brilliance and magic include Marlene Dumas and Miranda July. She is shocked by her immediate attachment to New Bedford and is comforted by the fact that a Hudson Street Sandwich is only a drive away.
Courtney Fathom Sell southcoast247.com correspondent
Courtney Fathom Sell was raised in a gypsy commune deep within the
Black Forrest. He has spent the past four years wandering across the
country with a traveling circus. His films have screened at many Film
Festivals and have received various awards. He garnered much media
attention after a physical confrontation with Kid Rock took place in
New York City, and is still awaited an apology from the singer. He is
the co-founder of Slumlord Productions and the musical collaboration
(+). He currently resides deep within the tunnels of Penn Station.
Aaron Powers southcoast247.com correspondent
Aaron Powers was born and raised in Nebraska, which
some may believe is in the Midwest. But Aaron would
later learn it was actually called, through the
adamant repetition of a college professor, the Great
Plains. So whichever open space he grew up looking out
across, be it Great or Mid, was beautiful. But he
yearned for something else, at least for a time.
So Aaron and his beautiful wife Abbie got married,
loaded up a U-Haul and set out across the Great
Plains, crossing the Midwest in the process, ending up
in New Bedford, with Abbie pursuing a Masters in
Sculpture and Aaron saying, "What the heck do I do
with a degree in English?" So he listened to some
music, played some video games, read some books, found
a temporary job, and somehow, be it the grace of God,
landed a freelance writing gig with southcoast247.com.
Never figured he’d be that lucky, but hey - as it’s
said, "The Dude abides."
In her non-existent free time, she enjoys watching Project Runway, season 2 of The Sopranos, and terrorizing her cat Sushi.
